Introduction

jaun·dice
n.
1. Yellowish discoloration of the whites of the eyes, skin, and mucous membranes caused by deposition of bile salts in these tissues. It occurs as a symptom of various diseases, such as hepatitis, that affect the processing of bile.
2. A state or feeling of negativity or bitterness arising especially from envy or world-weariness.

Dear literate person,

I read the news. Lots of it. I careen through news site after news site like James Dobson through a gay & lesbian bookstore, nose inches from the monitor as my vitreous humor condenses to the consistency of maple syrup in my eyeballs. Quiz me. Go ahead. I DARE ya! I watch the news. Too much of it. I’ve worn down the “favorites” button on my remote by continually bouncing from one sorry-excuse-for-a-news network to another. I can identify the talking heads by voice alone and read the ticker at the bottom of the screen like close-captioning for the reality-impaired. And ya know what? 99.9% of the time, it pisses me off. I follow politics like some men follow sports. I memorize stats, follow my favorite players and even yell and throw objects at the TV. It’s a sickness, I know. But I can’t help it. The world is the most riveting reality show there is, and I just have to know what happens next.

I pay attention to the world around me. Nature. Science. Pop culture. Religion. Entertainment. I watch people. I listen. At the mall, in a restaurant, at a traffic light, in the grocery store. Probably more than I should. I’m aware, but I stay out of it. I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. I live. I let live.

I hate conservatism. Conservatism represents everything vile, contemptible and unjust in this country. Republicans follow the religion of Conservatism and, therefore, I hate them too. To be a Republican, you must be either gravely misinformed, gullible, selfish or just plain stupid because Conservatism is based on selfishness, greed, and mean-spirited bumper-sticker simple-minded “logic”, and is propagated through misinformation and repetition. “Compassionate Conservatism” is an insincere slogan of a people brainwashed by their own propaganda. To the rest of us, it’s a really funny joke – an oxymoron – and a fallacy that I promise I won’t let you forget. If you’re a rich, old, white, Christian male with no conscience at all then, by all means, go ahead and vote Republican. Everyone else should be voting Democrat. (Technically, I don’t care much for Democrats either, but they’re the best shot we’ve got at keeping Republicans out of office, and therefore maintain some kind of harm-management.) I fancy myself a bit of a political pundit. Maybe if I write the shit down some Democrats will read it and win a fucking election once in a while. Maybe, when I’m RIGHT a few times, somebody will give ME a TV show instead of one of those other over-paid bickering bags of water I throw my shoe at on occasion.

But mostly, I hate religion. Religion is the Swiss army knife of people in power – a universal leash to control others who can’t or won’t think for themselves. It’s a tool of manipulation for the wealthy and powerful. It’s a crutch for for the weak, the forgotten and less-fortunate. It’s always there, the perfect excuse, waiting for anyone and everyone to mold it to their particular use. How convenient. It’s superstition. It’s primitive. It’s a human side-effect left over from prehistoric times, and the only way we’re ever going to make progress as a nation – as a people – as a SPECIES, is to get over it.

I value enlightenment. I value curiosity and education. I value freedom – real freedom – not the brand that’s used in political speeches and displayed on bumpers. I value courage to speak out against the majority. I value individuality and solitude. I value sympathy, compassion, and generosity. I value the ability to see things through other people’s eyes and the desire to do so. I value our environment and every creature with which we share it. I value choices, diversity, culture and art. I value the right to defend myself, my loved ones, my home and my opinion. I value my memories. I value friendship. I value love.

On this page, you will receive my view of the world as seen through the lens of my own experiences, biases and values. Hang on tight.

Sincerely,
Jaundice James