Religion vs. Insanity

Last night I was watching Trading Spouses and one of the wives was this religious nut. And when I say, “religious nut”, I don’t mean the kind that prays before lunch. I mean she was bat-shit-lock-her-up-in-a-padded-room-howling-monkey-fuck-wacko NUTS! (Of course, the other, relatively-non-theistic wife was across the country being judged and treated like absolute shit by Nut Job’s god-junkie friends, but they were just a bunch of nasty, judgmental, uncivilized assholes and not NECESSARILY insane, so let’s focus on the nut case.) Her “swap” husband was hosting a solstice party. It was a really mild party with hardly a hint of anything even remotely offensive to your AVERAGE Christian. They were just playing some drums and tambourines around a campfire, laughing and having a few beers. But this woman acted as if she was being forced to watch people smear blood on themselves while fucking goats on a pile of burning bibles. Later, upon meeting someone who claimed to be a psychic (as well as a christian), she completely lost it. After watching this spittle-spraying, quivering beast of woman scream about being a “warrior of god” and “reject anything not of god”, it occurred to me that religious zeal makes an excellent cover for insanity.

I know it happens. The country is full of them. Everyone has seen, or knows someone, like this. Ya know the type; they’re not just religious; they’re nothing BUT religious. There’s spirituality and belief, then there’s the point when religion becomes like a hobby to people, but THEN, there’s the people who take it that little bit further. And THAT’S when they should really be taken to the doctor, don’t you think? Of course, it never happens, because religious zealotry is so accepted, even encouraged in this country. When it happens to a friend, it’s disappointing as hell, like when you’re 21 years old and you’re best friend starts dating some bitch that won’t let him go party with you anymore. When it happens to a family member, they quickly become one of those Thanksgiving-and-Xmas-only relatives. These loved ones, turned zombies of zeal, usually become somewhat avoided, but certainly not medicated. But SHOULDN’T they be medicated? I mean, let’s face it, replace the word “God” with ANY other word and the person would hastily be written a prescription.

How many clinically insane people in the US aren’t receiving the proper treatment because, instead of clucking like a chicken or eating their hair one strand at a time, they’re waving a bible over their head and proselytizing about hellfire and damnation? We gotta round them up, drug them up and lock them up until they get better! It’s our moral duty! (They’re NOT hard to find. Show up at a gay pride parade with a big bus. They’ll be the ones holding the signs and screaming obscenities.) Obviously, we’re going to have to build at least one new hospital in each state, but we could tax bibles to pay for them. I bet we could persuade some big drug company to work on a formula. Imagine the number of customers they’ll have! Just think of the commercials! “Relesstra®, for those with WAY too much Holy Spirit. Side effects include one or all of the following: furrowed brow, grinding teeth, nausea, heartburn, chronic masturbation, wrinkled nose, wringing of hands, and bad taste in mouth.”

Worse, still, is the obvious fact that it’s one of the few psychological disorders that is contagious and can be transmitted by the media. Public awareness is the key. We need a big, I mean BIG, public awareness campaign. Perhaps the local news stations will run some of those Public Service Announcements, you know the ones, with the shooting star flying over the shoulder of some celebrity who just finished lecturing you about tolerance or not spanking your kid, except this one would persuade people to take their favorite bible thumper in for a psychological evaluation.

Or better yet…
A guy with a truck and a big net out there rounding them up like a dog catcher (except with a bigger net). I’d apply for that job. Hell, I’d PAY to have that job!