McStingy With the McSauces – Those McBastards!

I confess. Chicken McNuggets are my comfort food.

Last night, I didn’t go through their drive-through for their McNuggets, though. I knew I was starting a new diet today so I figured I’d do one last… Oh, fuck it. It’s none of your McBusiness!

So, I’m in the McDonalds drive-through, right, when I notice this sign posted on the drive-though window. Is McSays something like, “Enjoy our sauces with these food items” (list), and then it goes on to list how many sauces you will receive with purchase of said various items. For a 20-piece Chicken McNuggets you get 3 (count ‘em) THREE sauces. I’m like, what the McHell is that all about; that’s like one sauce for seven chicken nuggets and I’m usually opening my third by then. The McSign goes on to inform me in giant letters that extra sauces are 25¢ a piece. But WAIT! For those of you on a McBudget, or who like to buy in bulk like I do, the sign then informed me that I could buy 2 (count ‘em) TWO for 49¢! Holy fucking McSHIT, what a bargain!

Why? McDonalds is doing well. They have enough money. They’re going to open 800 new stores this year. I just want to know why I can’t have 7 (count ‘em) SEVEN sauces with my 20-piece Chicken McNuggets.

First, McDonalds pissed off all the vegetarians when everyone found out that their fries have beef extract in them for flavor. Then, McDonalds made some people with food allergies sick when they found out (the hard way) that the fries contain milk products and wheat. I sympathize with these people, so I boycotted McDonalds to show my support. But, occasionally, I’d think, screw those people. I need my Chicken McNuggets comfort food and I’d go get some. So, this, THIS really pisses me off! I should refuse to allow McDonalds to receive another penny from me for as long as I live!

Unfortunately, I’m a McPussy when it comes to my comfort food, so I guess I’ll cough up my 98¢ for 4 (count ‘em) FOUR extra sauces and shut the McFuck up.